[dave14]

Feel free to add any jokes of your own, good or bad lol

here's one of my favourites

Mr Cadbury and Miss Rowntree met on a Double Decker, it was After Eight.

She was from Quality Street , he was a Fisherman's Friend.

On the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum and Butter, she had a Wine Gum.

He asked her name, 'Polo, I'm the one with the hole' she said.

'I'm the one with the nuts,' he thought! Then he touched her Milky Way.

They checked in to a hotel, and went straight to the bedroom.

Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic.

It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt her Cream Egg. He fondled her Flap Jacks then he showed her his Curly Wurly and Tic Tacs.

Miss Rowntree wasn't keen to have any Jelly Babies, so she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard via her Party Ring. He was pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge. It was a magic moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight.

When he pulled out, his fun size Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie. She wanted more, but he needed Time Out, however, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetizing. He did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbet Dip and finished off by giving her a Gob Stopper!

Unfortunately, 3 days later his Magnum lolly started to drip. It turned out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Basset who had Allsorts.

[Social D]

A man desperate at Leeds' current situation decides to top himself. In his living room, alone, he prepares to hang himself. At the very last moment, he decides upon wearing his full Leeds kit as his last statement. A neighbour, catching sight of the impending incident, informs the police. On arrival, the police quickly remove the Leeds kit and dress the man in stockings and suspenders. The man, totally confused asks why. The policeman simply replies, "it's to avoid embarrassing your family."

[ben]

A woman with PMT asks her husband what he wants for dinner

"Whats the choice" he asks

"YES OR F***KIN NO!!!" she replies

[elliot09]

Pic's kinda small, but it still made me laugh.

[Marcus Watts]

here's a topical one:

A professor has found after extensive research there are two sizes of c*ck amongst UK men - Those that fall within the normal size range and those that are much less than 2 inches when erect.

The professor has just appealed for help to continue his research; could all men in the UK with extremly small penises make themselves known over the next six weeks by flying a white flag with a red cross from their cars please?

[Timo]

Dennis Penberthy, an elderly Cornish farmer, received a letter from the Department for Work & Pensions, stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees enough and they would send an inspector to interview them. On the appointed day, the inspector turned up.

"Tell me about your staff," he asked Penberthy.

"Well," said Penberthy, "there's the farm hand. I pay him £240 a week, and he has a free cottage.

Then there's the housekeeper. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging.

There's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week, along with a bottle of gin every week, and, occasionally, gets to sleep with my wife."

That's who I want to talk to," said the inspector, “the half-wit."



"That'll be me then," said Penberthy